So to go back to my earlier post about Labor Day here in the USA feeling like the end of summer – luckily the sun came out, I had a jaunt to the local swimming pool before it closed for the season, and it felt like a proper end to summer (even though the end of summer isn’t technically until later). The weather has actually gotten a little cooler, feeling more like fall. But I hope & presume this won’t last.
I continue to struggle to get back on track and put things in context. I think I continue to be thrown by feeling “shot down” last week – I suspect that my mentor did not mean to come across that way, but I definitely received it that way. And for a number of reasons, including the power differential and my ongoing dependence on their good will, as well as my being a stranger in a strange land, there is no way to confront or discuss this. I think there were days when my mother was grumpy or preoccupied that probably stemmed from similar things. As a child you don’t think about your parent as having things going on like that – being a child is so egocentric!
Of course teachers also don’t think about it, and that is NOT because they are ego-centric (at least not most of the time). For instance, children come in to class having dealt with all sorts of things the night & morning before, but teachers expect that they are blank “slates” (or computer pages), open for whatever input the teacher has planned for the day. Many teachers don’t think: maybe the child had a fight with a sibling, or their mother screamed at them all morning, or they had no breakfast, or they were up all night listening to their parents fighting/having sex/watching telly, or the cat peed on their clothes, or no one has done laundry in their house for weeks… the assumption is that the child had a good night’s sleep, got up and ate breakfast and got dressed and came to school…without baggage.
But we all have baggage.